Good Advice
by REVOLUTION 25
Summary: When Kirito asks to stay the night with Asuna , he's not quite sure what he should do. He wants their first time together to be special. Before he heads over to her place, he asks some friends for advice on what to do. They're more than happy to help him in his time of need. Warning; Contains vulgar language, alcohal and adult themes.


Sword Art Online...

I was introduced to this Anime by a friend and ended up loving the romance in it. Ending was... bad. But whatever. It was still a great story. Kirito and Asuna are fucking awesome.

That said, this popped into my head while rewatching this scene.

Its my first SI, but I think I did a good job not making myself a Gary Stu. I hate Gary/Marys. Just, ugh.

That said, let's get down to it.

Special Thanks to Elle for helping me with this madness.

* * *

Dust hung in the air from the aftermath of the battle. Magnifying its effect, light from the setting sun shone through the floating particles in the air. Five men stood with weapons at the ready, keeping their guards up, wary about any more potential attacks.

When nothing happened, they slowly relaxed and lowered their weapons. Another dungeon cleared, another day in Sword Art Online.

"Well, that was fun." Said one of the men, who wore heavy tan armor, sheathing a Scottish Claymore. "You alright Grandpa?" He asked one of the other men, whose health bar had taken a hit.

"Yeah I'm fucking fine Rev. God damnit I hate those fucking lizard assholes." The man called Grandpa cursed, before looking back at the man in tan armor. Rev was eyeing his health bar.

"Same here. They never sit the fuck still, always jumping all over the fucking place." One of the men said, agreeing with Grandpa.

"Well maybe if you upped your agility like I told you to 3 months ago, you wouldn't have gotten knocked on your ass by them as much Cruz."

"Don't you start Turbo, you still owe me for that fucking Golem assault you said we just had to beat to get, what was it again? Oh yeah. A fucking uncommon bronze sword." Cruz answered, sitting down and resting his head between his knees.

"Oh yes. By far our greatest accomplishment since this death game started." Rev said, sitting down next to his friend and offering him the flask of water, which he gratefully accepted.

They sat like that for some 10 minutes, bitching and poking fun at each other to relieve the stress constantly building inside them. It had been another long day for them on the front lines of Sword Art Online.

The 5 of them where all that were left of the small guild, Enforcers of Pain. Each one of them were friends in the real world, too, having all served together in the military.

Grandpa (whose name was an inside joke since he was the youngest) served in the Canadian Army, and Turbo was in the Japanese Army. Cruz, Vyrus and Rev however were all US Marines. Retired, but Marines nonetheless.

They'd met after Sword Art Online had started and, together with the rest of the Military members trapped in the game, had formed the guild "Enforcers of Pain." They saw it as their duty to spearhead the charge forward ahead of the civilians trapped in the game. In fact, they would do whatever they could to protect the innocent players of their game, as they were already used to risking their lives and putting themselves in harm's way.

However, this tactic of self-sacrifice had taken its toll on the guild over the past 2 years, costing their numbers to drop from 18 to 5. And civilians were still dying, much to their dismay.

In the end, after their leader had been killed in a ferocious boss battle, they'd decided to fight alongside the civilians, rather than push them behind and attempt to shield them. They knew now that they couldn't stop people from dying. All they could do was save as many as possible.

Rev sighed and fell back, lying next to Grandpa on the dungeon path. Rev stared up at the artificial sky of Aincrad. "I would sell my soul for a fucking LMG with unlimited ammo right now." He said longingly.

"Depends on what kind." Cruz commented, head still resting between his knees. "I imagine most of these monsters and shit would laugh off a 5.56 round, but a 7.62 would definitely fuck their day up" He laughed, wistfully imagining clearing dungeons with a fully automatic light machine gun.

"Hah. Think of the possibilities if we had an M32." Turbo added with an evil grin. "Oh fuck that'd be legendary. Just walking into a boss battle and 'boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.'" Grandpa laughed as he held an imaginary 6 cylinder grenade launcher, making its characteristic noise as he fired it at an imaginary enemy.

Vyrus shook his head exasperatedly. "We've had this conversation about 6 times before." He said, observing his squad and their usual antics.

"Yup. And it gets funnier every time." Rev said with a smile before standing up and stretching. "Any word on the other assault teams' progress?" He looked back at the dungeon path they had come from, wondering just how far ahead of the main force they had managed to push.

"No word yet. But no news is good news." Vyrus answered, repeating the mantra they had learned over the past 2 years of clearing out hellhole after hellhole with no comms to the rest of their forces.

Rev pulled up his map display, observing all the ground they had covered in the past 2 days and all of the shit that he had mapped out for the rest of the assault force. "Well, we've definitely covered a lot more ground than we thought we would. At this rate we should reach the next boss in about another day or two." He transferred the map data over to Vyrus who would send it along to all the other Guilds and players on the assault force.

Vyrus nodded, satisfied with his men. He had been pushing them really hard these past 2 weeks. "We've made some good ground this past week. Saved some lives too."

He glanced around at them. "I know you're running on empty, so teleport out of here and go get some rest and a couple good meals in you. We'll meet up at the KOBO guild HQ, like always, in 2 days."

The ragtag group of warriors nodded, they knew better than to fight it. Vyrus expected the best out of them and rode them hard, but he knew when to give them a break. He needed them at their best. His team needed to be ready for whatever got thrown at them next.

* * *

A little over half an hour later, Rev was walking down a darkening city street towards his home. The street vendors and NPCs were all packing it in for the night, but even so, a few still tried to push their goods and wares on him as he passed.

He'd opted for a simple cheap apartment with some decent furnishings and decorations. Nothing fancy or expensive, but enough for him to at least relax and unwind in when he had the chance.

All around him the street lamps came to life, slowly brightening as the sun sank even lower beyond the horizon. A few people walked about with friends or lovers, heading towards their regular nighttime haunts.

As he made his way to his apartment flat, Rev's mind began to drift, as it always did, to his current situation in this twisted game. Only cowards, terrorists and dictators slaughtered innocent civilians without reason. Wasn't he lucky to find all three of them rolled up into one, in this game?

He growled in frustration. As a Marine, he was used to putting his life in harm's way. He'd volunteered for it. He'd fought in the Chinese Civil War against Admiral Chang when US Pacific CENTCOM had been wiped out, as had the rest of his Guild. ((Yup. BF4 reference. 2024 remember?))

But this... Most of these people were kids, middle school adolescents. What was the point of making them go through this? To suffer for no reason? The Enforcers of Pain were doing what they could, trying to protect the innocent ones, but at the end of the day they were just 5 men.

Hell, they weren't even the best players out there. Sure, they were able to use their superior tactics, training and discipline to great advantages. But some people were just naturally good at MMORPG's. Like that damned kid. The solo player. A grin spread across his face at the thought.

EoP had encountered the solo player, Kirito, on several occasions at the front lines. The first time they had ran into each other, Vyrus had chewed him out like a professional drill instructor. Without a doubt, Vyrus was appalled that the 16 year old (upping Kiritos age), now 17 year old, boy was risking his life so recklessly by choosing to fight solo.

The Marine had hounded the young boy, demanding that he join a guild so he wouldn't die a horrible death. But what, instead, resulted from that was a duel: if Vyrus won, then Kirito would have to enlist with a guild. Of course, the duel had lasted less than a minute, and the Marine combat veteran was sliced and diced down to a yellow HP. Quickly and efficiently.

After that, EoP instantly became good friends with the young man, who had earned an honorary place within their ranks. They'd fought together on the front lines on a couple occasions since then as well, with both parties owing their lives to the other as a result of several close calls.

The Marine's mind continued to wander as his feet carried him on autopilot all the way home. Or what counted as a home in this VR world anyways. The door opened at his touch and he found himself hoping and praying that the flaggon of mead he had stored away was still good.

"My kingdom for a bottle of George Dickle..." he sighed longingly, pinning for a shot of real whiskey. He pulled out his inventory and changed out of the heavy armor he was wearing, choosing an olive drab tee-shirt and black pants.

One thing that really pissed off Rev about this game was the whole system of literally dying when your health bar hit zero. That's not how it works. The human body can suffer a tremendous amount of damage and still keep going. If you have the drive, the will and the endurance to keep fighting- to live- then not even God himself can stop you.

That pissed him off a lot. Many good people died, just because their HP had run out. Why couldn't the system take into account the human spirit, the desire to live? He sighed and tossed his Scottish Claymore onto the bed, walking 5 feet over to the kitchen.

Just as he was checking his poor excuse for a kitchen's inventory for any type of alcohol, a message appeared in his inbox. Hoping it wasn't more bad news from the front, he tapped open his PM box.

A bit shocked, he saw that it was from none of than Kirito himself. "Speak of the devil..." he murmured to himself, opening the message.

It was surprisingly short. "Got a second to talk? Need advice."

His interest peaked as he wondered what Kirito could possibly need his advice on. The kid knew practically all the ins and outs of SAO like the back of his hand. What could he possibly need advice about?

Rev quickly typed a reply, before resuming his search for something to dull his senses.

"Sure, swing on by my place. Vyrus pulled us off the front for a few days of R&R."

As luck would have it, he found a few old bottles of rum hidden away under his bed. Not the good stuff, but at least it would take the edge off of him for the night. When the inevitable knock came to his door, he was already on his 2nd glass.

"It's open fucker, come on in!" He called, part of him wondering what would go good as a chaser with this swill.

The door opened and a young man with black hair walked into his poor excuse of an apartment, looking around. But instead of his usual black trench coat with the silver fastenings, Rev was shocked to find the young man dressed in the infamously red and white uniform of the Knights of the Blood Oath.

The Marine burst out laughing.

"Kirito! What the hell are you wearing?" Rev asked, almost doubling over laughing. The swordsman that was famous for being a loner looked annoyed and awkwardly observed his feet. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up."

"Oh shit, wait till Vyrus sees this. He's going to piss himself laughing. The big bad loner in black now a dog for the KOBO." Rev said, clutching his sides.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I had a choice!" Kirito said, annoyed now. "I lost a duel with Heathcliff!" Still chuckling, Rev looked up at him. "Wait, you dueled KOBO's commander? Why?"

"Well... you see that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." The young man answered, suddenly looking shy. "Wait. Don't tell me. That red head chick right? Second in command of the Knights of the Blood Oath? The one you've been pinning over for a while now?" Grinned Rev, observing him.

"Her name's Asuna." Kirito corrected, sighing and taking a seat in a rickety chair across from Rev. "And yeah..." Kirito explained what had happened. About Heathcliff and the terms to their duel, about Asuna and her former body guard. The Marine just sat and listened, finishing another cup of Rum.

When Kirito told him what had transpired in the canyon pass Rev just sat and smiled at him. "So. You finally did it huh? Well good for you, kid." Rev laughed and poured Kirito a glass of rum, which was politely turned down.

The Marine frowned though, noticing Kirito looked really down about something. And there was a look in his eyes, one Rev had seen before. The teenagers hands shook as he focused on the floor. "I...I've never killed anyone before..." he said, his voice shaking.

Rev stood up and walked over to Kirito, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Look at me." he demanded, causing the young man to slowly look up at him. "Now you listen to me Kirito. He would have killed you and Asuna. You did nothing wrong, you protected the girl you love. You understand me?"

Kirito nodded, still shaking a bit. "Good." Rev gave his shoulders a comforting squeeze, before moving to go sit back down on his mattress. "Have... have you ever..." Kirito asked, watching him pour another glass.

Rev turned around and looked at him. "Yes. More times than I care to admit. They say it gets easier but..." he sighed and shook his head. They sat there for awhile both lost in their memories.

"So, what do you need advice on? Seems like you did the whole 'I love you' part just fine on your own." The Marine said, changing the subject and grinning as he watched Kirito look away in embarrassment.

"Well I... you see... the thing is..." Kirito shifted uncomfortably, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm supposed to meet her at her place in about a half hour... and I... I... I asked to sleep at her place tonight." He hung his head in shame.

"Damn." Said Rev a little surprised. "Got a set of balls on you, kid, usually you're supposed to just hint that you want to bump uglies. Not come right out and say it." He took another swig before continuing. "Seeing that you're still alive I'm assuming she agreed?"

Kirito nodded, not looking at the somewhat intoxicated Marine. "I... she said to meet her at her place in a little bit." Kirito said, reluctantly accepting the glass Rev was practically shoving on him.

"Ugh. Yeah, girl shit. Got to freshen up first n' what not. But what's the problem? You like her, don't you?" Asked Rev curiously.

"Of course! I... I love her. It's just..." he sighed and took a small sip of the rum in his hand now in his hand, cringing at the taste.

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do Rev. I've never done it before and I want it to be special for her..." Kirito admitted finally, looking straight into the Marine's eyes.

"Ah-hah, I see now." Rev chuckled and sighed, fondly remembering his first time. "Look, you've got nothing to worry about, you'll do fine. And trust me, if she loves you then it will be special for her no matter what." He smiled back at Kirito, who blushed.

"But I want to make it special for her... I don't want to hurt her or embarrass myself." Kirito looked Rev in the eyes. "I want it to be something she'll never forget."

The ambitious statement caused Rev to chuckle again and stare at him long and hard, considering if he should or shouldn't give the 17 year old advice on sex. In the end, he decided to take pity on the poor boy. "Alright, alright." He said, giving in.

He gulped down an entire glass of rum before slamming it on the table for fun. "Okay, pay attention. Here's how sex works." Kirito sat up a little straighter, embarrassed, but paying attention.

"Your first time, you are going to be bad no matter what you do. Because it's your first time. Your second is all experimenting; finding out what she likes and what you like. Discovering each other's buttons." Rev said, leaning back and stretching. "And your third time is going to be fucking awesome, because you know what you're doing and what she likes."

The Marine's brow furrowed in thought. "I'm going to assume that it's her first time as well and that you want to be gentle and shit with her." Rev laughed to himself, figuring he probably shouldn't give him advice about certain how girls like it.

"So. As far as starting, it's not hard. She'll be a lot more nervous than you, so just hug her, let her know it's okay and calm her down. Then start making out with her and kissing her neck, girls are sensitive there and love that. Just keep doing that, take it slow. She'll probably wait for you to make the first move."

"She'll might do one of two things to tell you she's ready though, either take your hand and place it on her tits or spread her legs a bit for you." Rev continued, thinking back to remember every trick in the book he knew. "When she does that, it means she's ready to go further. Foreplay is my favorite, honestly, because it's a lot of fun. For you two however, it's your chance to explore each other's bodies."

Just then, Kirito's rapt attention and Rev's train of thought was violently interrupted by the sound of someone trying to break down the door of the apartment. "Rev! Open up, it's time to drink damnit!" "Yeah, c'mon, I've got enough money to get us into that fancy bar over on level 26." It was Cruz and Grandpa, his fellow guild members.

Rev grinned. "Hold that thought." He said to Kirito, whose eyes were wide, knowing what was coming.

"Shut the hell up you fucking savages, I'm coming." Rev yelled back at his friends, who were still pounding on the door. "Come on, let's get going, we've got drinking to do." Cruz laughed, as the door opened. "Yeah, I've got too much blood in my alcohol system." Grandpa agreed, laughing at his own joke.

"Boy, thanks for the fucking heads up, ass." Rev said, stepping aside to let them in. "Not just yet though, giving some fatherly advice to our boy Kirito here." He grinned as Kirito reluctantly stood up to greet the new comers, bracing himself for the inevitable.

Both Grandpa and Cruz burst out laughing at the site of Kirito dressed in the Knights of the Blood Oath uniform, just as Rev had. "What the shit happened to you? You lose a bet?" Asked Cruz, grinning as he walked around Kirito, taking in the new look.

"More or less. Nice to see you to." Commented Kirito, letting them get it out of their systems.

"And what fatherly advice would our dear Rev have to offer such a high ranking player as yourself?" Asked Grandpa, snatching the bottle of rum off the bed and examining it.

"Little Kirito here wants to learn special techniques involving girls." Rev answered, causing Kirito to rub his temple in annoyance.

"Is that right!" Asked Cruz, an evil grin on his face. "Well you came to the wrong man, Rev here only likes dudes." Kirito laughed.

"I've only got eyes for you Cruz baby, you know I like that ass." Rev said, refusing to be baited and giving the whole room a good laugh. "Now shut the fuck up, I was just getting to foreplay."

"Ah yes. Good ol' foreplay. By all means, continue good sir." Said Grandpa, taking a swig of the rum before tossing it to Cruz.

"Look, foreplay is easy. You play with her tits a little bit, finger her and then go to town." Said Cruz, also taking a swig.

"You filthy fucking animal." Said Rev. "There's a technique to it, for Christ's sake, an art. He wants to make love to her, not fuck her like those NPC whores Grandpa loves so much."

Kirito sat back down in his chair and sighed, waiting for Rev to continue. This was a very bad idea. He checked the clock and saw that he only had 10 minutes left, before he needed to be at Asuna's place.

"Look, like I was saying Kirito, foreplay is a lot of fun for both of you. Just go with the flow and pay attention to her body language, she'll tell you what to do and what she likes and doesn't like." Continued Rev, ignoring Grandpa's response.

"He's right." Said Cruz, calming down a bit. "When she gives you an opening, you take it. One thing that'll drive her crazy, is playing with her nipples. I promise she'll love it, just lick'em, kiss'em, bite'em softly and you'll have her melting in the palm of your hand."

"Like Rev said, there's an art to it." Grandpa said, jumping in. "You want to do this passionately? Then here's what you do. Just rub them against your lips first for a bit, then you lick around them, not on them just yet, but around them."

Cruz laughed. "Shit yeah, she'll love that. Just basically tease her for a bit."

"And after a bit of that its time to move on downstairs." Said Rev, who received nods from his friends. They all observed the very embarrassed Kirito.

"It's really simple. Just slide your hand down between her legs and she should open them for you if she's ready- because she probably wants it as bad as you do at that point. Then it's even more simple from there. I don't want to spoil that fucking epic moment in your life for you, though, so I'm sure you can figure it out."

"One trick to keep in mind however is when you're fingering her, you really want to make her squirm, sp take your finger or fingers and press it upwards towards her stomach. And just rub that area like no tomorrow." Grandpa said, holding up two fingers for an example.

"Don't be afraid to press hard either, man, you're not going to hurt her. I promise you'll make'er cum if you keep that shit up." Grinned Cruz, who leaned against the wall by the bed. "Well, only if you do that and still suck on her tits at the same time."

"Okay! Okay! I get it!" Kirito said, blushing hard and thoroughly embarrassed, causing them to laugh. This was seriously a very bad idea. "Hey. You asked for the advice." Grinned Rev, causing Kirito to sigh. "I know. It's just..." he trailed off, not sure what to say.

Cruz walked over to him and patted him on the back hard. "You'll do fine man, don't worry so much. Nobody is automatically good at fuckin' their first time 'round."

"Just go with the flow and do what feels right. Make it all about her. Kiss her, hold her hand... And for fuck's sake, cuddle with her afterwards." Grandpa added, giving him a wink. "By the way. Who's the lucky lady?" He asked curiously.

"Nobody who'd look twice at you, ya fuckin' Canuck." Said Rev, deciding to save Asuna's reputation. She had saved his proverbial bacon once after all. "Why don't you love me anymore damnit!" Grandpa asked in mock sorrow. "Because your asshole's too stretched out." Answered Rev, to laughter from Kirito and Cruz.

"Go on Kirito, get out of here and go get you some." He winked to the young swordsman, who took a deep calming breath before nodding.

"Right. Thanks for at least trying to help." Answered Kirito, to the laughter of 3 warriors.

"Wait! Have some liquid courage before you go, fucker." Said Grandpa, offering him the bottle of Rum and shaking it temptingly. Reluctantly, and seeing that he wouldn't be allowed to leave without doing it, Kirito took the bottle from him and took a quick swig of the contents. He coughed and sputtered as the bitter tasting substance burned a path down his throat. If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought that he was being poisoned for the second time today. "Good huh?" Asked Grandpa honestly.

"Yeah." Kirito said, eyes watering as Cruz chuckled.

"Stick with us man, we'll show you how it's done." Laughed Rev, patting him roughly on the back. Then he leaned down and stared him in the eyes.

"Don't worry. Just be open and let her body tell you what to do. Now go on, get out of here and make me proud." He laughed, before giving Kirito a playful shove towards the door.

"Yeah, thanks." Said Kirito, now nervous. He still couldn't believe what he was about to do. But he knew that he wanted to be with Asuna- so nothing else mattered. Even the 30 minutes he had spent away from her felt like an eternity, like there was an emptiness inside him that could only be cured when he was with her.

* * *

When he arrived at Asuna's place, Kirito's heart was pounding hard inside his chest, threatening to shatter his rib cage and break out at any moment. He had to take a couple of calming breaths before he felt ready.

Walking up to her door he knocked. The door opened at once and just inside stood Asuna, looking even more beautiful than he remembered and smiling shyly. He stepped over the threshold and hugged her tight, breathing in deeply. He loved the way she smelled.

She giggled and hugged him back, laying her head against his shoulder. "I missed you too." Asuna said happily, before pulling away from him and leading him over to her dinner table.

Kirito's eyes went wide at the extravagant meal laid out before him, it had all his favorites. "Wow... you really outdid yourself." He said happily and practically drooling. Asuna's cooking was the best.

"Thankyou..." she said, looking away. "I-I know you didn't get a chance to eat yet today after everything, so I thought we should..." she blushed, focusing on her hands. Remembering what Rev had said, he took her hands and held them in his before giving her a soft kiss of the cheek.

"Thank you Asuna, it looks amazing." She looked up at him, a bit shocked, before smiling back happily. "You're welcome... well, shall we dig in?"

They sat down next to each other and ate quietly, however both were to nervous to say much other than the casual joke or grabbing the others hand for courage.

When the meal was finished Asuna was beet red. She stood up and Kirito could see that she was almost shaking out of nervousness. Not for the last time that night, Rev's voice echoed in his head.

He stood up with her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her close to calm her down. "Asuna... its okay. We don't have to do anything." He said, rubbing her back as she took a calming breath, arms at her sides.

"I know..." She looked him in the eyes and kissed him, her hands taking his and interlocking her fingers with his. "But I want to."

Kirito smiled happily and gave her a comforting squeeze, which she returned, before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

Hah! That's all ya get.

This is just a one shot, but I may or may not do more.

Depending on if people actually like it or not.

Which I hope you do.

I kind of want to write a story about Kirito and Asuna playing Dead Space in VR.

For those of you who don't know what Dead Space is, that's what YouTube is for. 'Dead Space Lullaby Trailer'

You imagine playing Dead Space using that BCI gear?

I'd sit there in the corner crying. No lie.

Anyways. I could rant all day about the ending to SAO.

But I'm not going too.

But god damned I want to see more Kirito and Asuna.

I hope to fuck I'm spelling that right.


End file.
